email to rockysmash, sent about a week after the Watchdog attack

[rising_tide]

Hey you.


So here's the thing: I'm not all that great with words. I've kind of always borrowed other people's words. When I was in middle school I was one of those kids that liked to plaster quotations and song lyrics all over their notebooks and binders. I thought I was so deep, too (I so, absolutely was not). When I was a high school drop out, picking pockets and shoplifting, I used to blast "Bad Reputation" and use it like armor: I don't give a damn about my bad reputation, I don't give a damn, I don't give a damn and if you think something long and hard enough it kind of becomes true. Just before I started hacking I bought this external hard drive and stuffed it full of all the music I pirated. I still have it. I still use it (I just try to buy my music now. Most of it, anyway). Whether it was a cold and a broken hallelujah or a roar, other people were better at telling me how I felt than I was at figuring it out myself.

I'm better than I used to be, which is good: the girl I was six, seven, eight years ago, I don't think you'd have liked her. She was messed up. She wasn't brave. She was full of things she didn't have words for and she didn't know how to make room for someone else in any way that was meaningful.

I can make that room now. I think I'm even good at it. Or I could be good at it. But I still, sometimes, need other people's words.

So anyway. I understand now, why they lost their minds, and fought the wars.

I'm benched for the next few weeks. Coulson doesn't want me, or any other Inhuman, anywhere near the Watchdogs until we have a lock on who's backing them financially, and on the lab that synthesized the toxin (Simmons is trying to come up with a name for it: Rocky, she is so bad at naming things. I can't even begin to tell you just how bad). So maybe, in spite of the fact that I've probably confused the shit out of you, you'll want some extended company. Let me know.

See you soon.

-Daisy



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Comments

[rockysmash]

Hey you. :)

First things first: hell yes I want the company, get your ass over here.

Next, you know how I feel. I said it to you before. And it's okay that you waited to say it however you could. There's a reason for that, and it's time I told you, but you need to understand I wasn't keeping secrets. This was something that just happened. It's not something I could control, and telling you before wasn't fair to you.

Before I knew how I felt, the wolf knew. The night you kissed me for the first time, the wolf spoke to me. Not just growling and howling, but actual speech. When I looked at you, it said "mine." That only happens when the wolf finds its mate.

Don't get scared: I know it sounds heavy, but hear me out. I fought it at first, because it's kind of stupid. I liked you a lot, but I wasn't in deep enough to fall for you yet. I just knew whatever was happening, I liked it and I didn't want to lose it. If the wolf was right? You had to feel the same way, otherwise telling you all this was just creepy and ridiculous.

Then I started agreeing with the wolf. That's when I knew I'd finally caught up to it...I fell in love with you.

And the fact that I can say the words? Means nothing. It's what you feel that matters, even if you need someone else to say the words for you. I can wait. Just knowing how you feel...I attached a picture so you can see the look on my face right now.

And I don't want you to get the wrong idea. When I say you're mine, it's not some macho possessive bullshit. Well, maybe a little, but it also means I'm yours in the same way. It means all that sweeping, romantic crap isn't sweeping romantic crap to me. It's simple, quiet fact. If you're lost, I'll find you. If you're hurt, I'll heal you, and if you're attacked, I'll kill in defense of you.

It means that I'm your pack. That I'll always be your pack, no matter what happens in the future. It means--well, I'll speak your language.

It means you will never see a day I'll ever break your heart.

Oh, and just so you know? My sister has a key to the place, and tends to show up randomly to make sure I haven't starved myself to death while recording. Any grocery requests?

-Rock

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