Dαιѕy Joнɴѕoɴ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rising_tide) wrote2016-06-14 01:36 am
rising_tide) wrote2016-06-14 01:36 am
email to rockysmash, sent about a week after the Watchdog attack
Hey you.
So here's the thing: I'm not all that great with words. I've kind of always borrowed other people's words. When I was in middle school I was one of those kids that liked to plaster quotations and song lyrics all over their notebooks and binders. I thought I was so deep, too (I so, absolutely was not). When I was a high school drop out, picking pockets and shoplifting, I used to blast "Bad Reputation" and use it like armor: I don't give a damn about my bad reputation, I don't give a damn, I don't give a damn and if you think something long and hard enough it kind of becomes true. Just before I started hacking I bought this external hard drive and stuffed it full of all the music I pirated. I still have it. I still use it (I just try to buy my music now. Most of it, anyway). Whether it was a cold and a broken hallelujah or a roar, other people were better at telling me how I felt than I was at figuring it out myself.
I'm better than I used to be, which is good: the girl I was six, seven, eight years ago, I don't think you'd have liked her. She was messed up. She wasn't brave. She was full of things she didn't have words for and she didn't know how to make room for someone else in any way that was meaningful.
I can make that room now. I think I'm even good at it. Or I could be good at it. But I still, sometimes, need other people's words.
So anyway. I understand now, why they lost their minds, and fought the wars.
I'm benched for the next few weeks. Coulson doesn't want me, or any other Inhuman, anywhere near the Watchdogs until we have a lock on who's backing them financially, and on the lab that synthesized the toxin (Simmons is trying to come up with a name for it: Rocky, she is so bad at naming things. I can't even begin to tell you just how bad). So maybe, in spite of the fact that I've probably confused the shit out of you, you'll want some extended company. Let me know.
See you soon.
-Daisy
[Attachment: TswiftYAIL.mp3]
So here's the thing: I'm not all that great with words. I've kind of always borrowed other people's words. When I was in middle school I was one of those kids that liked to plaster quotations and song lyrics all over their notebooks and binders. I thought I was so deep, too (I so, absolutely was not). When I was a high school drop out, picking pockets and shoplifting, I used to blast "Bad Reputation" and use it like armor: I don't give a damn about my bad reputation, I don't give a damn, I don't give a damn and if you think something long and hard enough it kind of becomes true. Just before I started hacking I bought this external hard drive and stuffed it full of all the music I pirated. I still have it. I still use it (I just try to buy my music now. Most of it, anyway). Whether it was a cold and a broken hallelujah or a roar, other people were better at telling me how I felt than I was at figuring it out myself.
I'm better than I used to be, which is good: the girl I was six, seven, eight years ago, I don't think you'd have liked her. She was messed up. She wasn't brave. She was full of things she didn't have words for and she didn't know how to make room for someone else in any way that was meaningful.
I can make that room now. I think I'm even good at it. Or I could be good at it. But I still, sometimes, need other people's words.
So anyway. I understand now, why they lost their minds, and fought the wars.
I'm benched for the next few weeks. Coulson doesn't want me, or any other Inhuman, anywhere near the Watchdogs until we have a lock on who's backing them financially, and on the lab that synthesized the toxin (Simmons is trying to come up with a name for it: Rocky, she is so bad at naming things. I can't even begin to tell you just how bad). So maybe, in spite of the fact that I've probably confused the shit out of you, you'll want some extended company. Let me know.
See you soon.
-Daisy
[Attachment: TswiftYAIL.mp3]
no subject
First things first: hell yes I want the company, get your ass over here.
Next, you know how I feel. I said it to you before. And it's okay that you waited to say it however you could. There's a reason for that, and it's time I told you, but you need to understand I wasn't keeping secrets. This was something that just happened. It's not something I could control, and telling you before wasn't fair to you.
Before I knew how I felt, the wolf knew. The night you kissed me for the first time, the wolf spoke to me. Not just growling and howling, but actual speech. When I looked at you, it said "mine." That only happens when the wolf finds its mate.
Don't get scared: I know it sounds heavy, but hear me out. I fought it at first, because it's kind of stupid. I liked you a lot, but I wasn't in deep enough to fall for you yet. I just knew whatever was happening, I liked it and I didn't want to lose it. If the wolf was right? You had to feel the same way, otherwise telling you all this was just creepy and ridiculous.
Then I started agreeing with the wolf. That's when I knew I'd finally caught up to it...I fell in love with you.
And the fact that I can say the words? Means nothing. It's what you feel that matters, even if you need someone else to say the words for you. I can wait. Just knowing how you feel...I attached a picture so you can see the look on my face right now.
And I don't want you to get the wrong idea. When I say you're mine, it's not some macho possessive bullshit. Well, maybe a little, but it also means I'm yours in the same way. It means all that sweeping, romantic crap isn't sweeping romantic crap to me. It's simple, quiet fact. If you're lost, I'll find you. If you're hurt, I'll heal you, and if you're attacked, I'll kill in defense of you.
It means that I'm your pack. That I'll always be your pack, no matter what happens in the future. It means--well, I'll speak your language.
It means you will never see a day I'll ever break your heart.
Oh, and just so you know? My sister has a key to the place, and tends to show up randomly to make sure I haven't starved myself to death while recording. Any grocery requests?
-Rock
[Attachment: (see icon).jpg]
[Attachment: MeatLoafILFYATTT.mp3]
no subject
You don't have anything to apologize for. Take it from a spy: sometimes withholding information (I prefer that to 'keeping secrets') is absolutely the right thing to do. I definitely wasn't ready to hear that, then. Even now it's scary. It's a big, scary thing.* I don't know that I'll ever understand it the way you do, because I'm not a werewolf. I do know this, though: you kept me alive. I know you said it only really works with another werewolf, but I just can't help but feel that somehow, you kept my heart going.
In the beginning I thought we were just having fun. Then you kind of became this safe haven from my job, from this fight that never ends, this bright spot I escaped into. And the thing is, that's not right. That's not what we are, or at least it's not all we are. That's not what you are. You're as apart of the fight as I am, even if we fight on different fields. You're not standing behind me, or holding my flower while I kick ass. You're standing beside me.
And nothing you confess could make me love you less.
-Daisy
*that's what she said.
[Attachment: PretendrsISBY.mp3.]
(sent a few minutes after the reply)
-Diet Dr. Pepper, I can't drink regular, it's like drinking maple syrup
-Ooo syrup and frozen waffles
-Will she make more cake?
-Fruit roll ups!!!
no subject
One more apology, I'm sorry for quoting TITANIC: you jump, I jump. That's the way we work, and that's a good way to understand it. Not romantical and tragic, just...how we function. We survive together, apart we just don't. You get that better than you think: you're a spy. You work for the military, kinda, a unit survives a war zone. Individual soldiers die. Just with more sex, cuddling, and antacids when you get sick eating too much of my sister's perfect cooking.
Just so you know, though: we're still having fun. I think, at the end of the day, we're both Betas. We do the things our Alphas can't or won't, and it brings us closer to being the Alphas we're gonna be one day. Your pack is just the country, mine is my family. It's okay if we're a haven for each other. I get so tired of working so hard for our survival. I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive.*
It's all new and confusing and amazing, but trust me: you get it, even if you don't know it.
-Rock
* Because if we're going for full on Cusack...;p And PS: WHO ARE YOU EVEN. REGULAR DR. PEPPER IS THE BEST KIND OF CRACK. You're lucky I'm in love with you and hot for your bod and shit. <3 But yeah, my sister will totally make you cake. She already likes you by default 'cause you love me...just know she doesn't think too much before storming in to wake me up? She's the reason I don't sleep naked. Otherwise I totally would. This is my family. Sorry. :)
[Attachment: CusackTime.mp3]
no subject
Oh my God. If the deal hadn't already been sealed it would've been just then, because you made a Say Anything reference. I am so hot for you right now. I wish I was kidding.
xoxo Daisy
PS--It tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper, except without the syrupyness.
PPS--you drink way too much Dr. Pepper.
PPPS--I like your family. I haven't met them all, but I like them. They produced my favorite person in the world, so I have to like them.
[Attachment: JenniferGrey.mp3]
no subject
You're on leave. Get the fuck over here and do something about it, Hot Ass Fitzpatrick. (I'd say Boobs McGee, but she's a character in Yandere Simulator.)
PS: I drink just enough Dr. Pepper, and Diet tastes like a chemical spill.
PPS: You're gonna love my sister. She's tiny an adorable and squeaky. Rachel is the best person you will ever meet, way better than me. Seriously, if you want to date her instead I'm totally fine with it, and not in a dirty way.
Did I mention get over here? Rory at the coffee shop mentioned Jed has a recipe for s'mores muffins. Think she wanted you to know about it. She likes you--ooh, and Quinn's coming over tomorrow to record! You can sit in!
GET OVER HERE.
ILU,
Rocky
[Attachment: DaisyMixtapeTrack7.mp3]
no subject
You sure are in a hurry for me to get done with this paperwork...
Are you making me a for real mixtape? A for REAL real mixtape?
<333
Daisy
[Attachment: Dontjudgeme.mp3]
no subject
Yes. Yes I am. Did I mention a wolf with a mate can pine to death if separated for too long? I can already feel myself fading...fading...faaaaaaaaaaaaading...you have to come save me with a kiss...and sex...
Duh, I'm making you a mixtape. I'm in love with you, doofus. <3 Now come to me! Leap into my arms and let me carry you off into the sunset!
ILU,
Rocky
[Attachment: Hoshitiminlove.mp3]
[Attachment: RomanticMufukker.jpg]
no subject
I'll be there tomorrow, gooberface, so you're gonna have to make do some other way. I suggest phone sex. ;)
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘,
Daisy
[Attachment: uraderp.jpg]
no subject
We could...but what if it turns into ASMR and you fall asleep? My masculinity might never recover.
Can't find the kissy emoji I want, so xoxoxo,
Rocky
[Attachment: thederpiest.jpg]
no subject
HMMMM. Excellent point. I am awfully sleepy. Guess I'll just curl up in my bunk all alone then. Naked.
😏
Daisy
[Attachment: Gotobedgooberface.jpg]
no subject
...define 'naked.' Topless? Or...naked? Because correct me if I'm wrong, you're not alone 'round there, and I don't wanna share.
SMOOCHIES
Rocky
[Attachment: ICANTSLEEP.jpg]
no subject
U G H. You and your logic, ruining my attempts to get you all hot and bothered. I'm wearing a tank top, you doofus, GOD. :P
Have I mentioned lately that I really like your face and the things you do with your face?
( ˘ ³˘)♥
Daisy
[Attachment: Meneithertbh.jpg]
no subject
Hey, you get me hot and bothered a good sixty seconds before you walk into a room. I catch your scent, and I can't stand up, it's downright Pavlovian. You're evil, you know.
My face appreciates your patronage. Have I mentioned that I love how my face makes your face do that...thing? The one where you smile, and it kind of turns your eyes into chocolate diamonds. Turns me to freakin' goo.
HOW U SMILEY BETTER THAN ME. GDI. ILU.
Rocky
[Attachment: Hotbathmighthelp.jpg]
no subject
I know. So devious. And I have it on good authority that I taste as good as I smell. :P
Its the best feeling. You give me the best feelings. I'm glad I give them right back to you.
I may or may not have an app for smileys. ╰(•̀ 3 •́)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
Still in love with your face
-Daisy
PS-you win. I can't top your selfie skills. Name your prize.
no subject
Lady Ray, you taste better than you smell. Hurry up with that paperwork. I'm jonesing for my favorite dessert. >:)
I'm glad I give you the best feelings. Because you are the best everything. Self esteem stealing adorable smiley app to make me question my own masculinity and inability to make such adorable smileys and all.
Way more in love with your face (and your boobs, FUCK YOU),
Rocky
PS-24 hour naked time. First person to put on so much as a sock has to make dinner for the other person. :P
no subject
You're so dirty. I kind of love it. ( ˘ ³˘)❤
Just for that I'm taking a shower and playing with my boobs when you can't participate or watch.
-Daisy
PS-okay. What if we both make the full 24?
no subject
I know.
HEY!!!!! THAT'S SADISTIC. HOW DARE YOU. I MAY HAVE TO CRY.
(Still love you, damn it)
Rocky
PS- See Attachment.
[Attachment: StupidCrap2012-A.mpeg]
no subject
Soapy wet boobs. Gonna just put my hands all OVER them. Shit, now I'm all turned on, I'm gonna have to fix that too.
BBIAB!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Daisy
PS-I am not sure that's answering my questions at all...
no subject
I'll take cold comfort in knowing you won't have nearly as much as fun without me on my knees with my fingers inside you and my tongue circling your clit until you're so out of your mind you start doing that amazing little whining thing just when I'm about to...
...get back at you for torturing me with visions of your wet, soapy boobs that aren't in front of my face for licking!
I may be evil, but ILU,
Rocky
PS-The answer to your question is 'sex.' Sex is what happens. I just thought the video was more fun. :P
no subject
Are you kidding me? Punishment? This is the next best thing to phone sex. ;)
The only thing evil is how thoroughly you're distracting me from sleep, gooberface.
Daisy
PS-yeah I did not get that from the video at all, but I figured sex was a given if we're spending a solid 24 hours naked.
no subject
In all seriousness, do you want me to call? I'll totally read you a bedtime story to help you sleep. Maybe I can even make it a dirty one. ;p
Rocky
PS-Let us not forget naked gaming between sex. I already record videos without pants, and it'll be fun to play Halo with Quinn over XBox Live and make him wonder if we're serious about our nakedity or not.
no subject
I was mostly just kidding about the phone sex, cause, you know. Thin walls, etc. But I still want to hear your voice. Is it lame and stupid to admit that sometimes I just turn on one of your videos on my phone so I can hear your voice?
Really, you should call me just so I can hear you say you love me again, you know, when I'm not half-dead and surrounded by racist pieces of shit, and I can say it back. That's better than phone sex.
<333333
Daisy
PS-Okay, yes. Yes. Quinn makes it way too easy to troll him. I am 800% on board.
no subject
You're a sap.
-Rocky
[Rocky waits about five minutes after sending the email, then calls her on his cell.
When she picks up, the smile that's plastered across his face is audible in his voice.]
I love saps. And I love you.
no subject
Mean. You are so mean. Why did I have to fall for such a cruel, sexy man?
[ Her bunk squeaks softly as she flops onto her back and gazes up at the grey, utilitarian ceiling. ]
I love you too. Gooberface.
no subject
Gooberface. Gotta admit, it's growing on me.
no subject
Mm. Like mold? By the way, call me a sap all you want, gooberface, you totally said the L-word first.
no subject
He's picturing her so vividly he isn't aware of projecting to her when the feel of his fingers closing around hers manifests on her side of the line.]
Damn straight I did. Not sorry, never gonna be sorry, gonna exploit it shamelessly every chance I get for everything from sex to stealing a bite of your pizza.
no subject
You might need the ammo for the pizza. I am very serious about my pizza. But when have you ever had to cajole me into sex? It's like, embarrassing how easy you can get into my panties. I'm often appalled at the level of slutiness you get me up to. Just appalled.
no subject
[His eyes are still shut, his focus is still on her...and he can almost feel it, that longing to hold onto him, echoing his own.
The feel of his hand slips away...but he's aware of what he's doing now, and it's so easy it's scary as that touch is replaced with the warm weight of his body pressed against her side, the sensation of his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her side closer against the front of his body.]
And you're not slutty. Trust me, if you were? I wouldn't be letting my sister do a 'date ready' sweep of my apartment every time you visit.
no subject
[ Her breath catches; she's almost afraid to move for fear that the sensation will be ruined, or broken. She wishes, God does she wish she could reach back. ]
Mm. Its okay to be slutty. We're just sluts for each other. And for cuddles. You are such a cuddle slut.
no subject
He can feel her body beneath the arm flung across the empty spot in his bed, feel her shoulder pressed against his chest, her hip digging into him in that weird, uncomfortable yet wonderful way that pokes him, reminding him she's there. Only she's not.
His eyes snap open, wild gold staring into the darkness of his room. He's only aware of it because he can see better when he shifts.
He's not sure this should be possible, not with a human--or an Inhuman. Still, he can feel her like she's there, and it brings with it a warmth and a pleasant sense of drowsiness that makes him realize that maybe sleep isn't as far away as he thinks.]
I'm a werewolf, Agent Sexypants.
[He shuts his eyes again, turning his face to burrow deeper into the pillows. She can feel his face tuck against her neck, his arm tighten around her waist.]
Cuddle slut is part of the job description.
no subject
[ Her own voices is thickened and drowsy as she hesitantly angles into the phantom warmth and weight, laying in such a way that her back would be pressed to his front were they actually laying side-by-side. And she could swear she feels him move with her, responding to the shifts in her weight; surprise has her stilling, hesitantly laying her hand against her side, where it feels like his arm is nestled. ]
...Do you feel that too?
no subject
[He shifts to lay the phone on his pillow, then rests his head atop it so his ear stays pressed close, where he can hear her voice. He can feel her phantom warmth shift, so he does the same until they find that perfect place where they fit...alone in separate beds, thousands of miles apart.]
Didn't think it could be this strong with a human...could be the mating bond making it easier?
[His voice is lower, thick and a little raspier with sleepy satisfaction as he hums a little and splays his fingers against the mattress. The phantom of his hand curled over her stomach does the same, the warmth of his fingers spreading across her stomach.]
Not complaining, tho...let's go t' sleep this way every night you're not here.
no subject
Mating bond. Sounds so...weird.
[ She wasn't complaining, though. It was an amazing feeling, to know that she'd never truly be alone in the world. She hummed softly and laid her hand over the place she felt his resting, warm and steady over the thin cotton of her tank top. ]
Mkay. I'm good with that. S'good plan.